September 8, 2016
I decided I needed to get my butt back out there and start running again, I have been running a little and using some weights, but I needed to hit the pavement, get outside where I love running. I decided to run in my favorite neighborhood, 17th street by City Park, we use to live in that area and I remember I couldn’t wait to get home so I could run….I had so many conversations with myself while running, I ran through the various seasons, seeing the trees change, feeling the warm days turn into brisk days….
As I started it was hard, I ran then walked ran then walked, I came to Chris’ block the street where my Husband lived, the street I drove down several times to see Chris. As I got closer to his apartment I started to slow down, my breathing became very heavy, my skin started to tingle. I walked to his window, he lived on the second floor, I stood there and stared at the bedroom window, the bedroom where he lay in a dark cold closet for days, dead, alone… The tears started to flow, I couldn’t control myself…. I went back to that day, that day when we found him, that day that I saw him in a black body bag, the day I touched him last!!!!
I started back up the street, at first I walked fast, then I started running, I didn’t want to stop, it didn’t hurt anymore, It felt good, all of a sudden I had a burst of life, thinking to myself I have got to do this, I can’t let anyone stop me. The past few years I gave up my running, and my crazy fitness adventures, I will share those later, all I can say is I accomplished a lot! I am back on track slowly but surely, I know for now I need to go back to my favorite street, my favorite parks to keep on running, to get my health and fitness back to where it was, that’s what I did after Brianna died, it was my drug of choice. I need fitness in my life, it’s what makes me feel good, the endorphins are my pills. It kept my emotions at a easier level.
I will start tracking my journey as I am starting all over again, I hope that I can encourage you a little, I was never a runner but I became a half marathon runner, several half marathons, I proved to myself that anything is possible. I am ready to take my 50 young body and transform again. 🙂