It’s 10 days into the New Year, I’m still trying to figure out what to write. It seems as though I start each New Year with a positive goal, my heart is open, my wounds still remain, but I make a choice to make the most of it.

I do have some reflections of 2016 even though it was a pretty bad year, I have to hold on to Faith! I did learn that I need to stop being such a people pleaser, I need to stop caring what people think of what’s going on in my personal life, I have learned to kind of shelter that part of my life “for now”

I have also made a choice to NOT duplicate last year, I have kept an open mind and learning not to let things get to me. I need to take care of myself, my emotions, my heart, I need to do whats best for ME! I did feel different though as the New Year came in, I told myself I would not let the negativity that was so daunting on me follow me in 2017, I wiped the slate clean if you will, it’s very important to cleanse your soul and your mind.

A New Year is also another reminder, I think to myself “How and the Hell have I made it this far? without my Daughter!” it’s a reminder that I am going into the 7th year without her, it’s a reminder that another year older she would have been, it’s a reminder that I have missed 7 years of her life. I always say this, I don’t grieve the past, That’s all I have left of Brianna is the past, the memories, holding on to them as they become more fragile, it’s almost like a string unraveling, the memories tend to fade, I grasp at the string longing for more memories, longing to remember all of those special times, longing to hear her voice, to smell her, to talk to her to see her grow…

But I have to keep pushing through this, I have to keep my eye on the prize!! This is my YEAR…. So much to do this year… We will be doing our 5th Annual Ride for Hope such an amazing Ride with amazing people. I also started my book “finally” and hope to have it ready for publishing at the end of the year… I’m also focused on more networking getting our foundation out there, sharing our story and helping more families. I am also working on a few other projects for outreach. I have a busy year just in the foundation, but I also hope to travel a little, get out and enjoy the world what ever that may be…

Bottom line, it’s MY time, we are responsible for our own happiness, our own life and what comes in and goes out. I am going to be more careful on how that time is spent, making sure not to invest in things that don’t have value to me, making sure my time is used wisely. My spirits are high for the New Year, my outlook on my life and where I want it is becoming more clear, I’m ready God for the path you have chosen for me….

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